i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.