So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
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6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
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I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up