alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"