You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
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We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
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I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.