I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media