Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.