The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh