He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
