You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
