East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm getting married
To pizza
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
