We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize