I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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