i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize