I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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