don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
