I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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