We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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