I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
