filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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