what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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