I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
