im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
