I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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