My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
