Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
