Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize