Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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