look no pants
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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