So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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