We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
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Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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