New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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