Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
