Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
