As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
