I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
