dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
