I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
