weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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