strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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