I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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