opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
