i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
