At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We named our party play list daddy issues
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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