Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
