I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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