we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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