Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
