before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
They have beer where we have blood.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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