We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
