I just cut my nipple shaving
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize