cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
how does that bad decision feel?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
