Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
