walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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