He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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