I am puke
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
