Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
