take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
