hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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