oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
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Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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