if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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