Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
