a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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