his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
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it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
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I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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