i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
