dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
