i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
