Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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